I haven't had a new idea or a silly thought to expand upon for a couple of months now. I noticed and the good folk around me noticed too. I knew why but it's something I'm reluctant to address.
You can't see them but there are long pauses between every word, every sentence. Ghosts of hard to catch thought.
From the title I hope you've inferred my reference to memory loss and pharmaceuticals. I am referring to the little blue or white or yellow pills that play with your neurotransmitters to make you feel happier. They also make you gain weight, lose libido and in my case stifle creative thought. Although all of the above do and did apply. This list is not exhaustive and I firmly believe we are all affected differently by the same meds, foods, drinks, weather etc.
I'm taking varicline xxx at the moment. Don't get me wrong, I feel fricking awesome!! I'm having the best dreams, I'm feeling good, I'm less stressed and I achieved the aim of taking these puppies. I quit smoking. Yay!
But at what price?
Who cares. I've only a month to go and I'm not as broke as I usually am.
No. There have been problems. Nausea. Fatigue. Vagueness. Anti-social behaviour (I can't be bothered going out). Alcohol problems (my constitution has weakened and I can't drink like I used to - not really bad, just annoying). The worst in my opinion is the lack of thoughts and ideas that usually swim around in my brain. I miss them. They're funny.
No comments:
Post a Comment